How to raise focused kids!

My boys love baseball and I love to help coach them and I have helped coach their teams. My oldest knows, as a pitcher, he cannot look at anyone during the windup but the catcher. He really struggled with this, because of all the distractions around. Possible base stealing, coaches yelling, parents yelling. He has to be extremely focused on the catcher and not the ten-year old kid in the batters box with a mustache and the body of a seventeen year old. To teach him to do this the catcher will give hand signs that my son receives and acknowledges. Before he can ever deliver a strike, his focus must be on the catcher’s glove.

Just a few years ago, after a long disappointing day, I stood with my head leaning over the top bunk of my son’s bed and I pleaded with him to love God with all his heart, soul and mind. After all, I had been taught that in Sunday school and knew that this would help him to focus on doing what I ask. For some reason I unknowingly was asking him to do something that even I couldn’t do or anyone in the entire Bible but Jesus. Yet here I was trying to manipulate him into loving God more so that I could feel better about being a parent. Most people know that this is the very first commandment God gave Moses and wrote it on stone, but did you know the Bible calls the ten commandments “the ministry of death”?(2 Corinthians 3:7) I was asking my son to do the impossible because for years I had tried to do the impossible, but the results were always up and down. You see every time I saw how my love wavered in God I was broken in my heart and discouraged that I was a hypocrite. I wanted my son to be obedient so I reminded him to focus to love God with everything he has. Sounds like the right thing to do as a parent, right?

I was on a small, fishing boat in the ocean, nearly fourteen years ago, and the waves were incredibly high. The captain was drinking tequila and standing perfectly still on the boat while it looked like an amusement ride. All six of the tourist on the ship began to get sea-sick really quick and several had to lean over the side to feed the fish what they had eaten and drank earlier. I found out then the only way I wouldn’t lose my lunch like the others was to focus on the land, only a hundred yards away! You see the land wasn’t changing or moving, it was a constant. God’s love for my children is like that land, even though their love for Him can change daily, His love is the same yesterday, today and forever! This is what teaching our children God’s grace is all about, undeserved love and favor. “But Brandon, if I don’t teach my children to focus to love God and hate sin, then won’t they fall into more sin?” Let us look at the life of Jesus and how He taught His children and disciples to focus!

You probably have read the story of the adulterous woman who was caught and brought before Jesus and revealed the heart of the way Jesus parented and taught.(John 8) Jesus was the only one left standing there with the power to condemn her and told her “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.” Do you understand when your child receives God’s love and grace, they actually sin less not more. No condemnation was given to the adulteress to empower her to sin no more and no condemnation was given to us as well!(Romans 8:1)

If you had to choose which disciple you wanted your child to be like, a lot of parents would choose John over Peter. Peter, after bragging about his love for Jesus, was told by Jesus that he would deny him three times and he did. Peter wasn’t even there for the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus, but ran away hiding in fear. After Jesus resurrected , He came to Peter and healed his broken heart (the condemnation he felt) and we all know Peter turned out great. Then there was John. You could always find John laying in the lap of Jesus, constantly receiving the love of Jesus. John called himself in the Bible”the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John had a revelation of how much Jesus loved him.  When every disciple had left Jesus, there was John near the cross with Mary, and Jesus entrusted him with his mother to take care of her. Great receivers of love are always great givers of love! This is why I stopped preaching to my kids “Love God, hate sin!” and I am focusing their eyes on how much God loves them and how incredibly special they are to Him!

If you are a parent today of a small child, sing over them songs of the love of Jesus and teach them how much He cares for them. If you are a parent of an older child, look for opportunities to share “no condemnation”  and grace in your home. Discuss how much God loves you (not just your child) because if you don’t believe it, then it is hard to share. Focus your child on God’s love ,that made them righteous in Christ,when they succeed or when they fail. God is raising up a generation of children who are confident in the love of their Father God and our kids understand what it means to come boldly before the throne of grace!

Stay tuned for our new website and podcast coming in the next week or two!

Sharing some of my worst parenting skills!

This blog might be the blog where you say, “Yes, I can identify with you, Brandon” or “Wow, I need to pray for your children”. Hopefully a little bit of both. This will be my last daily blog!  I am setting a twice a month goal of blogging that hopefully I can fulfill throughout the year. My goal for blogging was ten blogs before our first podcast (hopefully coming in the next week) and ten podcasts before our first full length worship album, coming this summer!

Okay I have made way more mistakes with my kids than this (and in life in general), but here are a few of my not so great moments (remember I need God’s grace in my life as well).

Graceson and I were off to the community pool. He was seven at the time and asked me to ride his bike (the pool was 5 blocks from our house) because he knew how to get there, while I followed him in the car. I reluctantly agreed but before I could get my keys off the counter and I could hop into the car he was gone. I looked down our street, nothing. I came to the intersection of our road, no one! I was thinking, this kid is fast. I finally got to the busiest street our pool is off of and all the side walks were empty. By now my heart is racing! All these terrible thoughts are raining on my head. I checked the pool in case some miracle God had transported him there. So I am driving our neighborhood, panicking because I had lost our son and of course my wife calls while I am driving, “What you doing?” “Well…….I am driving the neighborhood streets looking for our son….” I chokingly replied. “I may have lost him…..(silence on the other end)….no wait, I found him”. There he was riding his bike on a busy street with his little legs pedaling as fast as they could. So I had to explain to my wife my dumb idea of letting him ride his bike to the pool. By the way, he knew how to get there but he went the opposite direction, had circled around to go on the busiest street and went the absolute longest way possible!

When my oldest son was two, we were buying a home and I had asked my dad to come see the home before we purchased it . I was so excited about the home that I slammed the truck door ,forgetting that my son was buckled in his kid seat  in the backseat, and in the hot Texas summer heat. If you live in Texas then you know the horror stories on the news of children dying because of being left in a car in the summer.  I was showing my dad the house for probably 20 or 30 minutes before we came across Graceson’s new room that reminded me he was in the truck. He was okay but screaming and crying and incredibly hot and sweaty!  We gave him plenty of water and attention afterwards, but I believe God saved my son from my stupidity that day! (Now I know you want to start praying for my children)

Last story, when Zeal, our youngest was born. The nurses commented on him being the loudest baby they had ever heard. Zeal ,for us, made having three children in four years.  Honestly, we were tired from having babies and this one was living up to his name being the loudest! So you know how you bring your baby home and you make a nice crib for them in your room (like we did with our other two), well I kicked him out to his own room after the first night of being home. For years Zeal never did receive the attention that I gave his brother and sister. He was annoyingly loud to me and I selfishly gave my older children way more attention. But in God’s grace the last few years God has shown me a greater love for Zeal than I could ever dream of. He still is louder than any other kid, but I know God will use that loud voice of his to impart God’s love to others.

Am I worthy of sharing “How to’s” on parenting. Well I know that without Christ I can do nothing and in Him I am qualified and righteous. I don’t share any of these stories with you feeling condemned about myself because I know that I now have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) but I still struggle in being a good parent and would love to hear your victories and struggles for this blog to help other parents and our podcast show to encourage other parents. If you would like to remain anonymous, no problem, but please don’t let that keep you from sharing!

How to prophesy over your children

My three kids favorite time is story time in our house. We all gather at my youngest son’s bunk bed and I will begin a tale about three characters and will allow my children to be the main heroes in the story. There are times I will try to pull a story from the Bible and try to add my children’s’ name to it. My favorite story I ever told was a little over a year ago of the parable of the good Samaritan. I changed the name of the person that was beaten on the side of the road to my youngest son and the people who passed by were my children’s’ favorite cartoon characters. So Batman couldn’t stop because he was chasing bad guys. Barbie was late for a party and Sponge Bob, well he had to go to work at the Krusty Krab (I know this is way too spiritual for you but stay with me). So the heroes of our story was my oldest son, Graceson and his sister Jocelyn. They found their younger brother Zeal on the side of the road and stopped and took care of him. You have to know that when I told the story, up until that point my kids were really struggling with being mean-spirited to one another, especially towards my youngest son. Now the world will tell you it is normal to have siblings fight and be terrible to one another but I knew God wanted better for my children. At the end of the story we talked and I just prayed over my children who God says they are. The difference in their attitude the next day and following weeks was incredible.  Something in me changed as well in how I tell stories and pray for them. I speak to their spirits of who they will become in Christ, of the character that they possess in Jesus! There are some nights that what I pray over my kids is completely opposite of their behavior for the day. It may sound something like this, “Jesus, I thank you that Jocelyn has the love of Jesus in her and just like Jesus is in Heaven, so is Jocelyn in this world (1 John 4:17).” My baby girl and sweet little princess probably on that day took a toy and smacked her brother upside the head with it, but instead of yelling at her (I’ve tried this, and it only does damage to their heart) and modifying her behavior with fear. God is not interested in having fear modify my kids behavior, but Jesus to transform their lives! Jesus is the Word made flesh.

When you speak the word of God over your children, you have begun to prophesy over them. Prophecy is edification of the saints never judgement towards sin. I was preaching at a church and at the end of the service there was an older lady in the back of the room sitting by herself. We introduced ourselves and I was determined to do what I now do with my children, I shared with her scripture personalizing who God says she was and by the end of it she was crying because she had been so depressed and she opened up to me the things she was going through. Even crazier the Lord gave me a word of knowledge about some children in her life. This was only after I had shared the scriptures! I will get something in my spirit about my children at times and I pray it over them. Just start with Scripture and let God do the rest.

You might be thinking that you don’t know the Bible well enough to remember scripture but that’s okay, you can hold the Bible while you pray(your phone may have a Bible on it).  You can pray Isaiah 53 over your kids going to bed. “I thank you Jesus that you were wounded for my child’s transgressions and You were bruised for his or her iniquities, the chastisement for our peace was upon you and by Your stripes my child is healed!” When you do this your kids will ask you questions that you will love to answer and discuss. Even if they don’t understand their spirit is listening and the Holy Spirit is agreeing inside them. My nephew is the same age as my oldest and spent the night last night and I prayed Isaiah 54 over all of them. He never knew that God had promised He would never be angry with us again, just like God swore that He wouldn’t flood the earth again. You see your kids will hear the Noah and flood story a hundred times in church but you may be the only one in their entire life to prophesy to them that God will never be mad at them! Nobody cares for your children like you and Jesus, so join forces with Him and start prophesying today!

Thank you for reading this and be sure to visit www.GraceforEternity.com for our podcast as well!

How to battle your child’s insecurities

I was the only white boy in our family’s church of nearly 2,000 members at the age of five. I loved every moment of it, because of the attention it brought from the other children. My parents didn’t have to tell me that I was different from other kids, it was obvious to me. You see my parents had taken my sister and I half way around the world to be missionaries in a country called Papua New Guinea. I remember kids who would ask to touch my hair because they had never seen straight hair or even a white person in some of the villages we visited. The missionary experience for nearly four years was some of the best times of my childhood. So guess when insecurity attacked me the most as a child? When I came back to America and joined a sea of kids in school that had no idea how special I was (stay with me here).  Every good father and mother believe that their children are special, different from other kids, but how do we raise them into adults believing that truth?

I recently had lunch with all three of my children at their elementary school and watched as the warden, I mean teacher in charge of the cafeteria, barked them all into line. Hundreds of kids, that all looked the same to me, poured into the cafeteria by grade, would eat and leave in time for the next grade to arrive. For thirty minutes I made each one of my children feel extremely special, mostly because we had to eat at a different table separated from everyone else in the same cafeteria. Every child’s eyes were on my kids as they were being treated to a feast of attention by their father. My oldest son played it cool, when I surprised him by bringing him lunch, but not my other two. There was more kisses and hugs directed toward me than any Christmas or Birthday party I had ever hosted. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out as a parent, your children want to feel special and different. It does however take God’s grace to raise them to know they are special!

I sat down for coffee with Zach Neese, one of our church’s worship pastors, and we talked about our family upbringing. When He was a child, his mom would tell him and each of  his brothers and sisters, alone and privately, that they were her favorite child. It wasn’t until a few years ago that the siblings revealed to each other what mom had told each of them in private. Now you may laugh at that story, but his point of sharing that with me was only to reveal God’s heart for us. God has the ability to make you feel like you are His favorite!  Did you know it is the little things in my life that God continues to say He loves me and that makes me feel incredibly special to Him. Every time I see the favor of God on my children, no matter how small it may seem, I point out that God really loves them and does this to make them feel special.

You and I both know the world will judge our children on what they can offer (see John 17:16, it says you and your children are not of this world). The world is the worst in asking our children, “are they fast enough, pretty enough, strong enough, rich enough, smart enough, and so on and so on.” The question is how do we combat the insecurities of our children, when we have to send them out into the world? The answer to your child’s insecurities is by telling them who God says they are in His Word!   When you speak and pray God’s word over your child, you will see a dramatic change. His Word is sharper than a two-edged sword that divides between soul and spirit and God’s Word will never return to Him void but will prosper in what God pleases.(Hebrews 4:12 and Isaiah 55:11) Don’t make the mistake of combatting your child’s actions of insecurity with your actions. In other words don’t react when your child acts out because of not knowing who they are, however you can respond by speaking what God is saying to your child and their situation from His Word. You might be thinking about your own insecurities and failures that you may have a hard time ministering to your children but please know this, whatever area the enemy has stolen and hurt you the most, God loves to give you the most power to minister to others in that area!

Coming Soon is my free sermon podcast “How to raise Children in Grace”,  please  feel free to follow my blog or email me so you can know when!

The best way to love your children, simply love your wife

The title of this blog was actually the title of my first song, written out of my own experience of being a child. I directed the song at fathers and in the chorus sang, “It’s not money or knowing the right thing to say, it’s not time and always being there to play. But if you want to have a happy family life, the best way to love your children is to simply love your wife.”  Again I wrote this song a long time ago and since then I have been through rough waters in my own marriage and I understand I need Gods grace in my own marriage and life, so please do not feel condemnation if you are divorced or remarried. My heart is not to judge but to share life with you. God’s will is for marriages to last in love. I have seen children take priority in marriages over their spouses, but this is not what God intended. Our children will never be loved more than when two parents love each other and make each other a priority! Does this mean we send them off to boarding school, yes……Wait NO! There is a balance and order that comes with loving our children. How many times have you seen teenagers move off to college and life, only to see husbands and wives are not friends and have nothing in common. Their whole world revolved around their children for a season but when that season is over, then they often times don’t know what to do or how to live.

So how do you win back your spouse if you have neglected loving them as a priority over your children? Begin by standing up to your kids on their behalf! My wife and I are a team (they outnumber us, so we have to be) and we have each others back. If I hear disrespect towards my wife coming from my children’s mouth across the room, you can guarantee that child now has to deal with me. My wife does the exact same thing for me as well. My children understand that mom and dad were here alone before they were born and mom and dad will be here alone when they are gone. That may sound harsh to some parents, but I guarantee there is a spouse out there somewhere reading this, telling me to preach it! Also a good thing to practice is giving your kids quiet time (a time to read in their rooms or play) so that mom and dad can have some alone time. All children will try to manipulate you into doing everything they want, at the expense of your marriage if you let them. I pray that is not your family and that you guard against this and protect you and your spouse time together. I have made tons of mistakes as a parent and so will you, but loving your spouse will blanket a world of mistakes.  Your children depend on you loving your spouse to receive the greatest love from you!

To learn more and hear our podcast “Raising children in grace” visit www.graceforeternity.com

How to raise our boys to be like Jesus

Both my boys at the age of five and nine love to wrestle. So much sometimes that bodies and feelings get hurt! Even with all the tears and pain, mostly from me, their dad (yes, a five-year old can hurt a grown man if hit in the wrong area) it is worth every moment to have my boys cheeks planted firmly against mine for minutes at a time trying to pin me down. They are constantly testing their strength and looking for my affirmation, to tell them they are getting stronger. If you haven’t read the book “Wild at Heart” by John Etheridge, it is a must read for every mom and dad with boys. John suggests that every boy is asking their father one question, “Do I have what it takes?”  The father is so important in a boy’s life because he validates the boy is becoming a man. I was fifteen when my father left my mom and our family in a divorce, and like a lot of divorces, he had checked out mentally out of my life well before that. It wasn’t until after I had boys, before God placed some Godly men (the Body of Christ) in my life to minister to that void in my life. Yes, every boy needs to know not only what a real man looks like, but also needs to be told when he becomes that man!

There are so many tragedies in life whether it be divorce, death or even spiritually wounded fathers. Wounded fathers are the most common and they wound their sons, not purposefully, but neglect to support their son’s manhood because their father neglected them. You can find thirty, forty, fifty year old boys that are hurting families and people because they have been hurt themselves. The good news is there is hope and His name is Jesus!  That is right, Jesus is the definition of a real man! Okay moms, our boys don’t want to grow up to be like the Jesus in the picture of the children’s Bible. You know, the one where He has a sheep in one hand and a butterfly in the other.  No way, our boys want to become like the warrior Jesus that is returning, riding on a horse and has a sword in His hand.  If every mom is panicking when their little boy jumps off the counter that seems too high, why would they want a warrior for a son?  I know some moms that won’t let their sons play with toy guns, and then I watch those same boys use their fingers as pretend weapons.  To keep a boy’s warrior spirit bottled up is never the answer to raising Godly boys.  God made every little boy to desire to become a warrior!  He placed it inside them because it is a mirror of who Jesus is. 1 John 4:8 says, “For this purpose was the Son of God manifest to destroy the works of the evil one.”  In Revelations 19, He is called the “Heavenly Warrior”. When your son becomes a man you will appreciate him fighting for his wife, fighting for his children and his beliefs, not propped in front of the television every day, spiritually asleep.

Dont worry moms are very much needed in a boy’s life, otherwise the hospitals would be full of boys who jumped off the roof because dad thought it would be fine. Moms are very much like the Holy Spirit in our lives.  They bring us comfort and wisdom.  But fathers are like the Father God and bring clarity and validity to who the children are!  Please don’t be discouraged if you are a single mom because there is power in prayer.  My mother began praying over me when I was the age of two, for my spouse that I would one day marry, and I married the most Godly woman you could ever meet.  God hears the fervent prayers of the righteous!  You can begin praying for your children’s future and your son’s validity into manhood and God will answer your prayers.  If you are a dad like me and never had the validity of manhood yourself, it is not too late!  I prayed for God to validate my manhood even after I had kids and God was faithful to answer my prayer.  I am confident he will answer your prayers as well!

Please feel free to email me or respond so I can pray for you and your children, as well!

Can my children lose their salvation when they get older?

As parents, we obtain a perspective of how God sees us. In no way is our love for our children as pure as God’s love for us, but it’s obvious that our passion for our kids is a type of reflection of God’s passion for us. I purposely titled this blog about my children, because you are probably like me, concerned daily with the growth and health of your children’s walk with the Lord. I don’t need to tell you of the great responsibility we have as spiritual leaders of our home, because as a believer, you are feeling it.  So now after reading the title, go ahead and ask me, “Brandon, do you believe that once you are saved, you are always saved?”  Those of you who are getting ready to dismiss this blog as ludicrous, I would like to ask you a question. “Do you believe that for all eternity at any time you might lose your salvation?”  This topic is rarely touched on from the pulpit, because of the controversy of people believing that it’s a free ticket to sin when this kind of grace is preached. Many churches will warn of  “falling from grace” and often times you will hear people in church who speak of others who committed a terrible sin and supposedly fell from grace.

I mentioned what Paul in the Bible said in a previous blog, that “falling from grace” is returning to the law (works) for getting closer to God (Galatians 5:4). See my blog, “Has Christ become no effect” http://wp.me/p26WWa-X in case you missed it. So having our children growing up hoping they don’t commit that one terrible sin or one too many sins that would have them fall from grace is a lie that the enemy has been telling children for generations. Some believers quote Mathew 12:31 about the “unpardonable sin” which is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Did you know the Holy Spirit’s favorite thing to do is to convict you and your children of your righteousness in Christ Jesus?  You probably believed like I did that the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, however that conviction, the Bible is speaking of, is for the unbeliever to turn to God. No, the Holy Spirit always points us to Jesus and His righteousness belongs to you and to your children who believe. Remember Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  When does your child need no condemnation? Now! When the enemy comes to your kids saying, “You can’t be saved, a real Christian doesn’t do this sin” they need to hear the Spirit of Truth saying how powerful the blood of Jesus is that paid for all their sins (past, future and present). And you can remind them of the will of God, that all the Father has given Jesus, none should be lost but raised up in the final day (John 6:39)!

How to raise children in Grace

My oldest son’s name came to me from the Lord, after losing our first two children in miscarriages. His name would be Graceson, “son of God’s grace”. At the birth of our first child, I had no clue the kind of grace it would take to raise children. My wife is phenomenal with our children and is constantly ministering the love of God to them on a daily basis. She homeschooled all three of our children for several years and I could see a tighter bond between her and them, especially with my two youngest. Our oldest, on the other hand, was drawing closer to me and wanting to constantly spend time with me. We actually share the same love language, which is time spent together. Like many first-borns, Graceson is a perfectionist, completely opposite of my personality, so it is difficult at times for him to understand and walk in grace. He is the first one to see if something is “not fair” or if his brother or sister are misbehaving, he is the first to point it out. I have just in the last year or so received a greater revelation of God’s grace on my own life and I have been looking for ways to implement them in all three of my children. My advice to any parent reading this, is to ask God for a new revelation of grace for yourself, because God has lavished his love on you and every parent wants to do the same for their children. Jesus said, “He who has been forgiven much, loves that much more.” In my life recently, I had a new revelation of how much I had been forgiven. Nothing changed on God’s end, we have all been forgiven the same amount, it was only my revelation of the amount of forgiveness that helped me love more. I know what you are thinking, get to the part where you raise your children in grace. Okay here it is, I have determined to tell my children who they are in Jesus so they will do great things for Him. Not demand my kids to do great things for Him so they will know who they are. It is that simple. Most people think it is a parents job to point out mistakes and expect greatness, but I believe my job and your job, as parents, is to remind our children of their righteousness in Jesus and who they belong to, because every day they leave the house, the whole world is judging them on their actions. I want to allow my home to be a safe place, like the throne of grace, that they can come boldly to and hear who they really are!

God’s grace on me

For many years there were too many areas in my life that Christ was not effective in. We all have had areas of our life that are vacant from the power of God. Why is this? Most believers know that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells inside us, so why often times do we see no power or manifestation. Before you get all offended that Christ can be no effect, I am actually quoting Paul in Galatians 5:4 when he was speaking to the church about living by law and not depending on the grace of Christ Jesus. “Christ has become no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.” (King James)

 Now when Paul was speaking to the church in Galatians many of them were returning to circumcision to have a better standing with God, but today in the church we can fill in the blank for rituals that promise a better closeness with God. (You can buy their ten step cd!) It is so easy to get caught up in my actions (good or bad) to tell myself how close God is to me or how much favor I have with Him. For example, for years I believed that when I had my quiet time with God, my day was blessed because I had honored Him first early that morning. In fact I had heard this preached  over and over and most people can quote “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything will be added”. For years I totally missed seeking His righteousness. “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus”-( II Corinthians 5:21). You see righteousness in Christ is the anchor to the believer’s life and I didn’t have a revelation of God’s undeserved favor(grace) because of my righteousness in Jesus. I expected good things to happen from God when I did good and bad things to happen from Him when I did bad. This is what every religion teaches around the world except Christianity. Under the new covenant the Bible says that “as He (Jesus) is now, so are we in this world” 1John 4:17. So God’s favor on my life is not based on my works but through Jesus Christ. God sees me through the lens of the cross. When Jesus said “It is finished” , He was referring to my standing with God for eternity. Why are we not seeing Christ effective in every area of our life? Because we don’t understand Christ paid for every area of our life, today, tomorrow and for all eternity.

Are my children saved or are they too young?

My testimony is I accepted and relied on Jesus as my Lord and Saviour at an early age. Very similar to my 3 kids right now, I grew up in a Christian home and it made perfect sense to believe Jesus loved me. Lately I have been watching my kids from ages five to nine confess that Jesus is their Saviour. I’m positive they are saved but understand their motive for relying on Jesus could be shaken and tested later in life, just like mine was. I am told, by my parents, I was five when I first asked Jesus in my heart, in that same year I was baptised in the ocean.  Up until a few years ago, I could vaguely remember the baptism and never could remember the day I was saved. For over thirty years I confessed Jesus as my Lord but  I would hear sermon after sermon in church talking about the day that the speaker was never the same on the day of their salvation, never looked back, changed forever and I envied their testimonies.

One night after complaining to God about not having a great testimony, and even doubting my salvation, the Lord asked me why I got married to my wife. I had to be honest with God (pretty sure He knew the answer) and confessed to Him my motives were wrong, selfish and quite frankly “she was beautiful and gave me the time of day!”.  I met my wife at the age of  seventeen and married her at the ridiculous age of twenty-one. We both were babies and had no clue of what a healthy marriage looked like. I remember several people telling me that our marriage wouldn’t last. So when God asked me of my motives that night for marriage, I knew the next question that was coming, ” with all the wrong motives were you still married?” At this point there was a bit of reflection time in my thoughts, because what most people don’t know, that after nearly fourteen years of marriage, my wife and I have never been closer or more in love. Now granted we’ve been through hell together in our fight for our marriage and life in general, but I wouldn’t trade one single battle for a life partner that is now my best friend! Interrupted in thoughts God softly asked “What was your motive for marrying me?”.  At this point tears were running down my eyes and I whispered to Him “It was the wrong motive God, I think I didn’t want to go Hell and knew that you loved me”. I realized I had no idea how to love Jesus when I was a child and even as an adult my love  for Him was selfish in many ways. I for sure didn’t know how to love my wife when I committed to marriage, I thought. He lovingly replied “with all the wrong motives were you still married to Me?” Of course I knew the answer was “Yes!” my spirit was shouting it inside of me. I had forgotten my wedding day with my Saviour because I was young but that didn’t change God’s faithfulness to me. God’s grace was sufficient for me even when I had no clue of what I was committing my life to, at the age of five how could I? Now knowing what I know about marriage, I’m not sure there is  a twenty one year old alive that can be prepared for marriage but God saved my marriage as well.

God in His faithfulness heard my prayer as a child just as He hears the prayers of my children calling Him Lord and Saviour. He made a covenant with them based on His faithfulness and His love, not their understanding or their righteousness but His! Are there motives perfect, absolutely not!  Is His blood and faithfulness enough to save my children and yours at a ridiculous early age? Absolutely Yes!