As my family celebrates my role as “dad” in the home this weekend, I took a moment to reflect on what was accomplished as a father of three children these last twelve years. Quickly I was reminded of some failure moments and became deeply concerned how quickly time has flown. In the relatively short amount of time left with my kids in the house, what could I do to improve my effectiveness as a father? I came up with the top 5 things I could continue to grow and be better at as a dad.
1. Celebrate Victories With The Family
It seems like so often I play the sheriff of the home that my kids need to remember I see their successes. Nothing like a family celebration at the snow cone stand, amusement park or movie theatre to celebrate victories of my kid’s character and achievements.
2. Respond In Love Don’t React In Anger
I want to respond not react to my kid’s behavior. Manipulation and control is often a reaction to their bad behavior, but if I respond with giving them a choice of consequences good or bad, then I empower them to make their own choices. Home should be a safe testing ground for children to make bad choices and receive consequences. When I don’t give them choices and try and modify their behavior with my control when they are around me, it’s only “fools gold”. They should be learning the fruit of the Spirit which is “self control” not “dad will always be around to catch you so you better watch out” control. Now if I can just remember this when I’m tired and grumpy.
3. Find Their Dreams And Passion And Help Them Pursue
I’m embarrassed to say it took me 13 years of marriage to know and help pursue my wife’s dreams and passions. My children on the other hand, I knew partially each child’s when they were toddlers because I spent a lot of time praying and asking what their future would hold. Each night I put them to bed and pray over them I ask God to show us more of their gifts and where He is leading them in the future but I honestly need to spend more time and resources preparing them for their God given passion.
4. Pray For Their Future Spouses
It’s never too early to pray for my kids’ future spouses. I pray for their protection, family life and relationship with Jesus to be incredibly strong. I must spend more time in prayer because today’s prayer makes tomorrow’s outcome.
5. Create A Home Of No Condemnation
No matter how they behave they are still loved and accepted by me. I realize their perception of my love effects their reception of God’s love. What an incredible responsibility I have to represent the Father God to my children. This is why I have to create a safe environment in my home of no judgement that would ever disconnect our relationship. Many times I have to pursue my children to remove guilt and condemnation with hugs and affirmation.
There’s so many more ways that I could be a better dad and I have some really great friends who are great dads and great mentors! Please take a moment and share your thoughts on this or more ways I can improve as a dad as we celebrate this Father’s Day!
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