I have a real concern for the Body of Christ today, that the value of marriage has decreased in our churches and homes. When you value something, a price is paid in order to know the value of that object. Today marriage has daily payments that declares value to the relationship. According to John 13 the world can see if we are Jesus disciples by our love for one another. I know the greatest evangelism work we do is through our marriage. I say this often, I believe the world’s perception of God’s love is hinging on the local church.
The Bible has a lot to say about marriage but the root of a marriage’s value is Jesus. You see I used to think that I could carry out the second commandment and love my wife as myself and be okay. Except my wife didn’t want to be loved the same way as I loved myself, which was all over the map by the way. I was an emotional roller coaster, hating myself some days and thinking I was super holy others. I valued my wife the way I valued myself which was always self righteous. Then Jesus showed me His value and perception of me, buried and hidden in Christ. That I am the righteousness of God, approved by God because Jesus became my sin and I His righteousness. He made me a new creation and was speaking now to the new man not the old.
Jesus gave us a new command in John 13:34 saying, “Love one another as I have loved you.” No longer was love one another as you love yourself, good enough for Jesus. Jesus always had this way of dropping difficult love bombs on the self righteous. For example in Matthew 5, Jesus steps up from the ten commandments, “Don’t even look upon a woman to lust and don’t even be angry with your brother”. Jesus knew that people would justify in their hearts why they could treat people like they valued themselves. People didn’t know their own value and it would cause them to love by emotion which was a temporary modification.
One of things I am most saddened by my marriage in the past, is how I used to water the fruit of my wife’s tree. Of course this was right after I spent time trying to water my own fruit. Healthy fruit is always grown from watering the root. Jesus is the vine and the root. So self behavior that is healthy comes from abiding (intimacy) in the vine. Imagine a tree that is making loud noises struggling to produce fruit. Now imagine a farmer walking out with a water hose and hosing down the fruit, pretty stupid right? That was my marriage when I would meditate on my behavior or hers and try to fix it, instead of meditating on Jesus and what He finished on the cross. If Jesus calls me righteous, then He calls my spouse righteous! Do I wait to treat her like that until she has great fruit, or do I call things not as though they were from Heaven’s perspective? Watering your spouse’s root can begin simply by speaking over them and praying the word of how they are seen through the lens of the cross. How does Heaven see you and how are you known in Heaven? Being born again means you are now seen from Heaven as crucified with Christ. Value your spouse the way Jesus values you and continues to fight for you!
Brandon Pollard
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