Intentional Family Life?

We believe during this pandemic and social distancing is a great time to be intentional to invest in your family and plan for the future 

My wife and I write down a plan each year and have tried to be intentional to teach our young kids, once a week, to serve others in the household of God. Some families teach children to serve others once a year for holidays, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. As young Christian parents, we agreed that every week our kids needed to invest in someone else, beginning with believers. The local church was a safe training ground for our family to serve together and teach our children life doesn’t revolve around them. We taught our children that even our marriage didn’t revolve around them, their sports, entertainment or hobbies.

WHY? Because, there are BIBLICAL RELATIONAL PRIORITIES IN A FAMILY LIFE: Jesus, Marriage, Children, Work (school), Church and Friends/ Distant Family.

WHY JESUS FIRST-This is personal and begins with being intimate daily and receiving grace from Jesus. A Jesus-Centered family is governed by intimacy with Him. Receive this priority and everything else in our family can heal and be restored over time.  Your spouse makes a horrible Jesus. Put that pressure on them and you will constantly be needy and dissatisfied in marriage.   Matthew 6:33, Luke 10:38-42, Romans 5:17 

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WHY MARRIAGE NEXT?- Marriage can be a beautiful picture of Jesus and His church to our children. The home life can center around marriage. When children know the family centers around them and not our marriage, they are trained by their parents to be self-centered. Also, show a family that revolves around kids and we can often see a generational mental stronghold passed on from their parents.  Ephesians 5:21-31, 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Colossians 3:18-19, Proverbs 22:6

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WHY CHILDREN NEXT? – Many mothers struggle to understand why children come after the marriage priority, however, the best way to love your children is to prioritize your spouse. Ever heard of a child who went to counseling as an adult and complained that the priority of their parents’ marriage growing up, wrecked their life? Ever known of a family where children as a priority wrecked their marriage? The reason it is natural to place children over a spouse is often because the sacrifice is greater for them. Where our treasure (sacrifice) is, there are our hearts also. If your parents placed you first as a child, over their marriage, it’s often difficult to break the generational patterns without being intentional. If your parent never took vacations or dates with just the two of them, it might be difficult for your marriage to prioritize those things as well. Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4, Matthew 19:6, 1 Timothy 3:4-5

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WHY WORK (School) NEXT?–  The world doesn’t understand why this is not the first priority. Work in the marketplace is a tremendous blessing and helps provide in the financial blessing of Jesus, marriage, and children. When work is not in Biblical order it causes the absence of mental and relational blessing for the above priorities. We have witnessed many men and women sacrifice marriages for work (money) being a priority over their children and marriage.  Proverbs 13:22, 1 Timothy 6:10, 2 Thessalonians 3:10-13

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WHY CHURCH NEXT? In America, a reported average Christian family can attend church four to twelve times a year and serve together even less than that *(see article below). The same average family of four can serve and attend sports and entertainment twelve times a month or more. You are the temple of the Holy Ghost and the gathering of  believers with different body parts, make up the full body and church. You are not the church by yourself.  Show us a parent bitter at the local church and you will often find children that can not see the value in gathering or serving others when they are adults. The church has a Biblical priority to help equip the saints in marriage, family and work. When in proper priority the church is a gift from Jesus to bless and equip families. Ephesians 4:11-12 , 1 Timothy 3:15, Acts 2:17, Colossians 1:18, Ephesians 5:23, Hebrews 10:24-25, Proverbs 13:22

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WHY  FAMILY AND FRIENDS NEXT? Ever met a marriage that struggles and places a friend or the in-laws a priority over the marriage? A mother or father placed over the priority of marriage or even a friend, is a recipe for disaster just like any child placed in priority over the marriage. Friends should encourage and support the above priorities, not tear down.  The Bible addresses this and sometimes a spouse can willingly disobey the authority of God’s word and experience the earthly consequences.  Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31

(related article content) Is Divorce Contagious?

Dads and Moms, what happens if we have failed to submit to Biblical priorities as a leader of our family? I know I have struggled in many of these areas and have asked Jesus for help. Go back to priority ONE…… Receive From JESUS.  RECEIVE NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE IN CHRIST JESUS Romans 8:1. All of Heaven’s relational benefits were paid for through the cross and available to receive, once and for all, by faith in Jesus. There are earthly relational benefits when we follow by faith, Biblical priorities. Obedience and trusting Jesus can bring Heaven’s benefits on earth. Every one of these priorities, if replacing Jesus, will be a burden. Jesus is the only burden remover, life giver, family healer and seeking Him first will help prioritize our family life.   James 1:21-25

Equipping Disciples Of Jesus To Receive, Give and Serve In Grace,

Brandon Pollard

Your prayers and gifts are greatly appreciated, click here: https://pushpay.com/g/graceforeternity?src=hpp

Feel free to comment below if you have questions about Biblical priorities for families….

*(https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/139575-7-startling-facts-an-up-close-look-at-church-attendance-in-america.html).

A lifestyle of sexual immorality? Part 3

”Should we remain close friends with those who refuse to repent and continue a lifestyle of sexual immorality?” Didn’t Jesus hang with the sinners you might ask? Isn’t every sin the same?  Aren’t we perfect and righteous as believers? Let’s look together to answer this question with the word of God under the new covenant.

Paul was instructing the early church leaders with a member of the church who was sexually immoral with his mother. Some translations say “step mom” but I’m not so sure they weren’t trying to soften the filthiness of the sin. Paul said this sexual sin wasn’t even named among the gentiles. Let’s take a look at the champion of grace, Paul , and what he had to say.

1 Corinthians 5: 1-7 NKJ

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! ² And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. ³ For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. ⁴ In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, ⁵ deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

⁶ Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? ⁷ Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. 

1. Paul was concerned that the heart of the church leaders was not mourning over the sin. Were they possibly proud that they had a church member with this kind of sin ?
2. Protecting the other believers was a priority to Paul. Does that mean individuals who sinned were not a priority?

 Galatians 6:1 NKJ

Brethren, if a man is in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Paul had a revelation of the power of the cross for the believer that received by faith. He shared that the gift of righteous wasn’t based on our performance but faith in Jesus’ performance.  He mourned that a believers earthly performance and lifestyle of sin impacted other people on the earth. By the wisdom of the Holy Spirit he directed that the church needed to protect the other believers of Corinth from this lifestyle of immorality.

Romans 5:17 NKJ

¹⁷ For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)

 

We are thankful to know church leaders who have ministered Jesus to restore many individuals and couples in a spirit of gentleness and yes, the option of divorce had been discussed. Fear and shame were removed and for many there was true restoration of love in marriage. Our heart mourned over the few who, in their lifestyle, found their identity in self righteousness and sexual immorality, even when gentleness was offered. A few chose isolation and pride over restoration. A few wanted to see their marriage restored and yet the other spouse didn’t trust their actions. Possibly praying for their spirit to be saved but knowing Satan was destructing their flesh. As church leaders and believers what do we do? Let’s begin with mourning over sexual immorality and ask the Holy Spirit how to protect believers.

For more on this difficult topic visit:

Is Divorce Contagious?

 

Can Children of Divorce Be Okay? (part two)

Equipping Disciples of Jesus to Receive, Give and Serve in Grace,

Brandon Pollard

http://www.graceforeternity.com