As my wife and I get a year closer to a life of empty nesting, we reflect on some mistakes and some intentionality to recalculate our roadmap to parenting success. We remind ourselves and you, as a parent, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus which gives us the strength and power to realign our plans to Jesus. Defining success for your teens spiritual and mental growth will help you create a plan of success. Here are my top 5 common mistakes to avoid and success solutions for the growth of your teens spiritually:
Common mistake #5. Celebrate Natural Growth And Ignore Celebrating Spiritual Growth.
When a teen is celebrated greatly in a home for physical accomplishments more than spiritual growth, we often find a teen leaning to the world’s way of thinking. Solution: Don’t celebrate only their physical growth, education, and birthdays, celebrate even more their commitment to quiet time with Jesus, generosity to Jesus, them serving others, and their commitment to making disciples of Jesus. What we celebrate as parents in the home becomes a value in their life. 3 John 1:3, 2 John 1:4, Matthew 28:19
Common mistake #4. Surround Them With Worldly Mentors Instead of Godly.
When a teen has a coach or mentor who is investing in them, they are taking mental notes to how they will approach life in that same manner as them. If your teen’s mentor has the approach of being away from their spouse and church seven days a week for sports, drama, dance, martial arts, etc. it doesn’t matter if they profess Christ. That mentor’s fruit is a life of disobedience to King Jesus for not valuing discipleship and spiritual mentors in their life. Solution: Find Godly men and women mentors who prioritize their time for marriage and church discipleship and watch your teen enter their twenties making decisions to do the same. -1 Corinthians 15:33, Hebrews 13:17
Common mistake #3. Self-Centered Home Over Marriage-Centered
If the home revolves around the teens instead of the marriage, self-centeredness is brewing. Parents are raising adults that are passing through the home. Our marriage should be dreaming success together in the home more than just dreaming for our kids success. If the home revolves around the kids, then we will often find teens believing life revolves around them instead of Jesus. Solution: Marriage is God’s idea for a picture of the love of Jesus and His bride, show this to your teens and a marriage centered home full of love will cover a multitude of parental mistakes. Ephesians 5:25-27, 1 Peter 4:8
Common mistake #2. Choose The Cheapest Education Without Prayer
Besides your teen choosing a spouse later in life, one of the greatest decisions in their life is where they will be educated. As parents, we would never drop off our teen at a topless bar to make friends, but often we discover much worse friendships are happening in some public schools or private schools. If money make’s our decision in education without prayer, then money replaced our faith in God. Solution: Pray now for your teens future spouse and pray now for their next year’s education. For me than 15 years, my wife and I take a vision retreat every year and pray for each child and their education. John 10:27, Proverbs 22:6
Common mistake #1. Hide Your Personal Finances From Your Teen.
Transparency with our finances and generosity is a family secret, not a secret from our teens. To hide our finances as Christian parents is to set our teens up for moral and financial failures in life. Solution: Show your teen where your heart is focused by opening your personal banking account to openly discuss mistakes and successes. Include them in your family believing God for dreams that are always bigger than what is in your checking account. Then when they are on their own, they know how to apply their money and faith honestly in the same way or greater. John 15:15, Matthew 6:21, 2 Kings 22:4-7
Maybe you realize there are more common things to avoid raising teens that we missed, feel free to add them below in the comments. Encouraging you to not give up on your teens and know that God hasn’t given up on you. Cheering and rooting for you as Christian parents!
Heal the Home, Heal the World
Brandon Pollard
brandonpollard 